Emotions Sometimes Get The Best Of Me

I'm feeling lots of stress these days now that the shop no longer physically exists, in addition to the continual long-term stress of the pandemic.

And it shows by way of forgetfulness, shoulder tension, erratic appetite, sadness, and scattered attention.

I'm sorry to those around me who have to put up with me on however much of a regular basis you do.

In some ways, I feel lost. And once that feeling gets a foothold in my thought patterns, I go very quickly into a tail spin. More often than not, I wake the next morning with a pretty clear head. But when those next mornings are filled with the same thoughts and emotions as the day before, I know I’m in for a long haul.

I'm learning that I have to treat these feelings as if I had a sprained ankle; I have to rest, take the weight off of it, and let myself heal.

Instead of ice, a good cry helps.

And, of course, chocolate works its healing magic.

Even though I may be feeling in the weeds and overwhelmed with planning a relocation and reopening, I promise that I am in love with what Queer Chocolatier does! I am in love with chocolate and with my community! I absolutely cannot wait to have a chocolate house for people to return to in order to be indulged and affirmed simultaneously! We deserve a space to feel safe and cared for, especially in a society that can feel cruel for the sake of cruelty.

Every day that you cringe because of anything some homophobic, transphobic, racist, ableist, sexist garbage person says, know this: Queer Chocolatier hears you, and sees you, and loves you, and welcomes you.

I will hold space for you, virtually until physically. It is my job.

And it is a constant reminder to myself that I love what I do, even though emotions sometimes get the best of me and I really don't always know what I'm doing.